Turns out

Just a chick with a camera

Bill Bailey's skit on the Stupidity of Celebrities acts as a perfect guide to both the correct and incorrect use of the phrase 'turns out'. Since time immemorial, it transpires, whenever Bailey has sausages he's been pricking them first: turns out, he says, you're not meant to prick them at all. Sausages are best un-pricked. The wasted years, as Bailey calls them. So, a valid use of turns out.

Non-celebrity Chantelle, on the other hand, was for a long time under the illusion that the sun and the moon were the same thing. However, she later confessed, turns out they're not. Watch the clip below for a full on onslaught aimed at this most cretinous of proclamations.

I, on the other hand, learned only today that the perceived wisdom linking Linda McCartney (née Eastman), the keyboard player with Wings, to George Eastman, aka Mr. Kodak, is just that: she was just a chick with a camera - turns out they're not related at all. They'll be telling us next that Michael Nesmith's mother had nothing to do with Tippex. Maybe it really is best living in ignorance.