Grounded

With just hours to go before the transfer window closed, (Get) Real bought Subbuteo maestro Johnny Flick from some team or other for a record breaking two bob and a conker. Flick has been playing 00 scale football ever since he left the plastics factory that, quite literally, made him the player he is. He will undergo a thorough medical the minute he gets out of the jiffy bag, including the glueing back on of any limbs that may have fallen off in transit. Speculation is rife that as a sweetener to the deal the club have also acquired a new Morphy Richards, thus ensuring that they can iron out any creases on the field of play. Flick was remaining tight lipped about his alleged wage packet (rumoured to be in the region of ten shiny new pennies a week) and insists that he'll be keeping his feet firmly on the ground.